TV is today's Family Time.

TV on its own isn't much, but with family/friends; you're part of a clan.
I guess that's why to many people, family and friends are the most important things in their life.
because they make them feel the most loved and required.

Cara is coming in 8 flippin' days!
Since i left Singapore in Aug 2004, i've been counting the days 'til i see her again.
it's finally coming, and it feels incredibly magical.
to fling my arms around her at Heathrow and hug like i'm a crazy kid.
(oOoh baby, not long now!)

i'm sitting back in my half empty Basingstokean room.
a bed light illuminating the ceiling, The Garden by Zero 7 providing tonight's musical entertainment.
last Sunday i did your typical Singaporean 2.4km run, and surprisingly didn't have to stop.
i know i'm still slow, but i'm far better than the usual time i used to clock in school.
this morning, it felt incredible running the crescent of my neighbourhood without stopping as well.
given i did want to stop, but pushed to keep going.
my mum's getting impressed and that's more encouraging than she imagines.

i might possibly be thinking too much lately.
but i can tell they are under control.
ever since God put a real burden on my heart for unbelievers, in the last few weeks before coming home, i've had question upon question about salvation and heaven and hell and God.
not scary questions, just simple, childlike ones.

Would I be a christian if I wasn't brought up in a Christian home?
Why can't nice people go to heaven?
Why am I a christian now?
What happens when people die?

Allow me to quote from Charmaine's blog:

"Basileia healed me because it broke my heart with the things that break the heart of God. It gave me hope for a Christianity that is not an opiate or a way of life, but life itself; life itself and hope itself.

You see, I’m not convinced about the power of prayer, I’m convinced about the power of the great God to whom I pray. And as I pray and understand that He is holy, I look at the injustices of the world and I know he has the power to fix it. As I look at the brokenness and the hurt of the world and I think about God’s love and His faithfulness, I know that he is going to choose to act."

If you've seen White Oleander (the film)
you may understand how much i like it, not because it's a happy sorta story.
i watched it again tonight with my mum sitting next to me in the dark dinning room.
it was one of the things that made me realise why people don't want to become Christians.
it invited me out of my cushion for just a moment.
in some ways, answered my questions.
i'm here not to just let God use me to save people into heaven, more than that to give them hope for the life each of us has been given.
it made me feel ok with being me.
people who pour true love into you, don't care if you have slightly chubby cheeks; if they loved you enough, they'll love you because of it.