within the past few days...
my heart has been to extremes.
good bad neutral.

i'll get the bad over and done with first.
saturday morning was sunny and i had a bit of a lay in.
i answered a call soon after from my church pastor, wanting to speak to my dad.
initially it sounded like they were only talking "business" but then pa said
"oh i dont know what to say" in a unusually somber tone.
besides the tone of his voice, it was the uniqueness of the sentence.
pa usually has something to say about everything, and i say that with all due respect.
when i found out who it was, my mouth froze for a few seconds, my breakfast half chewed, my heart sank literally and all the sound i could produce was "No!"
it felt appropriate to swear but then it was the worst moment to.
i held myself back with both arms.
den my mom went on to explain what had happened and when.
my eyes were too shocked to even cry so i simply put down my breakfast and went to my room.
i'm just glad that i did what i did before she went to be with Jesus.
i only wish i had done it with a little more enthusiasm maybe?
God gives and takes life.
i treasure mine immensely.

which brings me to the other extreme.
the simple act of following a baby around the church.
he could manouvuer better than me and everyone just smiled at him while you could see the determination on his face to get around the whole room in under a minute (and mind you he probably did)
despite baby steps and occasional stumbles...he just kept going. i helped him along.
it was such joy and i fervently wait for the day i can run after my own baby.

recently i've also been having quite a few good conversations with the male gender.
need i say that my parents are naturally worried but they need not be, honestly speaking.
but i'll let them be...they're only parents anyway. it's their job to be over-protective of their only girl.
i think you boys know who you are...your time and sense of humour has kept me strangely contempt recently.
life truly is a blessing.

on the other hand...my brain is drained of any form of creative juice.
and with my graphics exam beginning tommorow...that is no way a good thing.
i just pray God will help me when the time comes.
looking at my work...i think...yuck! cmon jem...surely you didn't design that!

another thing i cant do is run a marathon.
i only say that because today was the London Marathon in...London strangely enough.
42km in 2hours is impressive. Go Kenyans!!!
this scrawny black man crossed the finish line smiling and without a bead of sweat in sight!
if that was me (which will never happen) i'd be gasping for air like a dying fish.
for me 2.4 is enough.
*jem wobbles her fats*
oh well...i blame my teachers for giving me far too much work, leaving me stuck at a table working my brain to the core.
i hope to get back in shape again soon.
september seems to be a pretty free month for me so far.
*jem rummages around for her nike trainers*