being so busy lately has taken its toll on my blog and my body
everyday is so tiring...i used to be able to blog almost everyday...yaking nonstop
wake up tired and go home drained...
(why must this keyboard be especially hard to type on?*emph emph emph*)
in fact, i realised how much it's affected me...
lately...i don't even have time to remember dat i miss sebast
den his SMSs remind me dat he's far away and that i miss him badly...
even wen he told me that we couldn't talk this weekend cus he was sick and has exams next week...resulting in the bed calling out to him the way i know it does...
i was like...Ok
not dat i was happy...but it sorta felt like...*shrugs* sort of Ok...u know?
and missing him has been less of an issue...
(NB this is the key reason why most LDRs dont last)
he knows it cus he's busy and now i'm falling into the same situation.
we both miss...but then again...we aint got time for dat...it's like...u feel like a hot Milo even though the sun is beating down on you??? because u know you actually want a cold Milo...oops
[signs of over-thinking]

no joke...yesterday...my brain was thinking literally from the time i reached college til the time i left...shall not go into details of the intensity of brain waves...

but what got my heart racing last night was a JFK movie...
not dat i love him or what...
but literally...i was scared
and no...it's not a scary movie...
it was just a rojak movie...you knoe? got everything one!
romance, violence, horror, sadness, happiness, and everything else u may find wif a movie (there was only a wee bit of humour if i remember correctly) like peanuts in the rojak...
the problem was how a court scene made everyone focus on this video of JFK being assasinated...
has anyone seen it???
my living room was a microcosm of complete silence in the courtroom...
as everyone's eyes followed the open-top car
the first gun shot rang out and JFK brings hands to his front (not heart)
a second gun shot to his back and he pulls back, just like the little mermaid emerging from the sea gasping for air after being turned into a human
a few more shots missed him and then
the sixth shot from his right
so devasting it literally blows out his brains literally
(sorry about the details)

at that point...my heart practically jumped up and fell back down in matrix timing...
"oh my word" just couldn't help but fall outta my mouth
and i'm not jokking wen i say dat my eyes suddenly got teary and i looked at my dad as a child would if you told it that its dog died or something u know?
in fact i remember feeling like dat only once before...
when i saw my bday as the last date in THE RING movie. in red.

all i could think of was the look on Jackie Kennedy's face...
having your husband blown up in YOUR FACE
i could only imagine the sheer terror she went through at that moment...
and for some reason...it made me think of how i would survive if that actually happened to me...
i immediately made a mental note "SMS sebast before going to bed"